is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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