Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
