i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
