Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
