She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
