The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
