this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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