How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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