Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
