Can i not drive my cunt home
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
