People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
