covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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