I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Less talking, more tequila
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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