Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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