I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Are we still banned from the library?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
