My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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