I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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