He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
