If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
