Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
