I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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