I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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