I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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