I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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