i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
