It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
