sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
