i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
