Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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