why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
