Will you blow on my dice?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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