i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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