Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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