I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
