this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
