he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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