Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
