I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm at about main and main street
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
