margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
