Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
