Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
