I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
