dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
