Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
