Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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