Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
