do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize