why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
