But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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