Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
