That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
