Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
