Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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