if you like me you must not know who I am
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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