Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize