need another drink. this is the easiest way
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
