hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
