so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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