UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
