Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
