She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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