i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
