you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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