K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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