Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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