It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
