Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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