I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize