So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize