just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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