You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
where am i from again
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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