all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
