i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Randomize
