How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
