you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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