$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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