Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize