We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
