i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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