McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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