just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
