I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
