She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Holy sore nipples Batman
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Panties = found
Randomize
