I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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